Mosaic of thoughts

2008-01-16T23:50:00.000-08:00

There is no denying that there is deep pain and it is good that you won't get to hurt me again, because you won't get a chance to. Finally it is out from my chest and mind, but there is a numbness inside. I am healing, really, but each step is always hard.

Plus there is very obvious intensity in the air over there and it is very pressurizing. Can't we all just chill? Sure, all of the ongoing activities are tedious and important, but it is not helping anything much. The old times were good, that's why they are missed. So what is happening to all?? How?? Why?? It gives a towering feeling that overwelms much and it is definately unpleasant. What next?? I really hope we all can work things up quickly and that overhanging black cloud will be removed soon =(

2008-01-05T20:06:00.000-08:00

Well...A lot of things have been happening recently for a whole month of the school holidays, some pleasant and some pain-staking. But the major change is the year 2007 hopping onto year 2008. Like people say, a new year means many changes as another chapter of life begins as one steps forth to embrace the new year. Right now, the terrible turn of change inflicted lotsa pain to numbness and weariness for myself.

But I suppose it really takes some time for me to heal as I'm still in the midst of that. I've got to move on, and that is a real struggle. Anyway, my idea of therapy would be a few good shopping sprees, good friends' company and good food [most importantly, ICE CREAM!!!]. So right now, my main goal is to work my ass off to buy my stuff quickly before school reopens and we are trapped with lots of school work.....ARRGGGHHHH!!!!School starts too early already!!!

2007-12-20T23:45:00.000-08:00

Today was the best day that I have ever felt so rested!! Apparently, today was the first rest day I had finally got ever since school break started. Unfortunately, this day is going to end in 15minutes time, but at least I went shopping today!!!=))

My mom and me went out shopping around Orchard road today and bought some stuff!!Sad to say, I don't have enough cash to buy more stuff for today.Crapp, if only my roadshow agent will speed up the process of handing over my pay, so I can go and buy more stuff!!! QUICK QUICK QUICK!!!!I'm waiting, yeah, I'm still waiting!!!!!!

Recently, I have been eating a lot of food and I have absolutely no clue Why in the world have I gotten so hungry most of the time?!?! Nowadays, I am practically having nearly four meals daily!!What madness has seized my stomach to growl for food so much?!?! From today onwards, I have better restrict myself from eating so much!!!

Work starts tomorrow again and it will be exhausting...I just hope that all of us will be able to remember what to do on the selling floor after the last training tomorrow and that nothing screws up our ways, big time. =)

2007-12-13T03:30:00.000-08:00

Work, work and more work are fixed during this holidays for most people... As for me, it would be catering, roadshow and retail... But you know, it really is good to be working again, occupying myself with work and earning some money!! =)....Although it does tire the body and makes one less alert somehow, it is still a good feeling after all.

Today, me and some of my classmates went to work for another catering event at Font Canning Centre and we were paid a little more money than the usual amount because we had to do table and chair setting instead of the usual catering team from another organisation. There was a tiff between us and the organiser as we did not know that we were suppose to set up the place for the event, because we only serve food and beverages all the time for these events. Some wanted to be paid more than the usual rate, but we were all unhappy about the last-minute information that we had to set up the place, in which we did it anyway but with reluctance and astonishment.

Eventually when the event was about to come to an ending, the organiser gathered us all for a briefing to clear up the misunderstanding and we were finally at peace that the issue had been settled quickly and neatly. After the briefing, we were allowed to go back first as the last course serving was done, most of the dishes were cleared and there were only entertainment performances going on then.

Therefore, we all went to the restrooms first to freshen up and then we went to eat at Newton Circus for supper. However, 2 of our classmates (Jackie and Netha) went off first as they had their own appointments to attend. So the rest of us went to Newton and ordered STINGRAY!!!Hahhaahahaha!!!! That was the main high-light of supper!! Luckily, Sayang called me during supper then to talk about tomorrow's training, because I had totally forgotten about it!!=XxX...Thanks Sayang!!! I was so busy with all these work schedules and matters to keep up that I had forgotten about the training then.

One thing that I have learnt today was how to mix alcohol with a normal drink too!! Our friend's brother from another class,Ron, made one such drink (lime cordial with some sparking wine) during the catering dinner even just now for us to try and it tasted real good!! In fact, one can hardly detect any taste of the bitter wine at all. Me and Li Ping were so fascinated with the drink because of the taste then and that was how I was inspired to try mixing a small amount of alcohol in my drink as well during supper. What I did was to add a small amount of tiger beer (from Edwin) into my cup of ice lemon tea and stir it constantly with the straw. Surprisingly, it taste really good and I passed it around the table to try the drink. Some said it was a bit yucky, but a few said it was all right.

Unfortunately, I forgot to not drink with a straw quickly in each sip of my drink or it will get a person drunk easily at a fast pace. Thankfully, I did not get drunk and only ended up laughing a lot at all the funny jokes we were cracking during the meal. But the surprising thing is that I felt better after drinking up and I drank about 3 cans of ice lemon tea (because the stingray was somehow spicy). Plus, I still walked and talked properly but my face turned a little red shade. After some time later when it was about 12.30am, we all went our separate ways and go home.

As it was quite late already, Johnathan fetched Li Ping, Kenny and me back home with his car (Thanks uncle!!) and that was the end of the day. But man,oh,man, it was a freaking great night with having a good supper,ending work early, laughing like nuts altogether and earning hard money!!! Maybe another time we ought to do this!!Hahahahaa!!!!! =)

2007-12-02T02:50:00.000-08:00

The days of torture are over!!No more struggling over studies or mugging for the whole month!!Let the wild rumpus begin!!Ring the liberty bell!! Well, that was the best news for me today...

People always say that the world does not change even though there are many happenings evolving around, but sometimes the feeling sheds a different light. Today was one extremely dark day,climatically and literally. It was horrid enough that I will not even bother to go through the sad times but at least now things are all resolved for everyone now.

However, I still feel emotionally drained during the day... It felt like strength was seeping out bit by bit just now...The strangest thing was that I did not shed a tear. I have no clue why and I feel even somehow bothered by that. I guess that past relationship that made me shed gallons of salty water till I couldn't cry much anymore.

Would things be better if there was no emotions in this world?Sometimes I wonder. Emotions can destroy a person's mentality and physical strength. What can I say?Maybe I am just being bitter about emotions always getting the way of people,making them feel terrible and break-down. I just hope that it is Not going to happen.

Sayang was the best today!!We found out that we two are so similar and that I am thankful that she was so helpful to me today =)...Not forgetting to mention that Jas and Justin were great listeners today too!!They gave me support and help that I really appreciate as well =)... Sure we all had our problems, but we managed to solve them slowly and steadily...The best things was that at the end of the day, we all felt a tad better and managed to enjoy a good meal at Billy Bombers restaurant. That's what I call a good team, being able to settle things finally together in the end =)

2007-11-24T23:30:00.000-08:00

Hey hey hey again! What do ya know....Yesterday night, some of my classmates and me had an opportunity to work in the catering business for the "Total Automation" celebration dinner event and earn a couple of cash! But seriously, it was all due to one of our up-graders who asked us if anyone of our classmates want to work and some of us volunteered. Moreover, if I am not wrong, all of us (those who worked yesterday) are going to work for another catering event again next week...

However, I must say, it sure was body-aching (feet ESPECIALLY!!) but exciting yesterday!! Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my flat pump shoes to wear and wore my high-heels the entire day of yesterday and I thought I would just DIE then while work. Majority of the other girls were also wearing high-heels(most of their heels were shorter) and their feet too were painful too. I would roughly guess that they felt the same way that they were very tired to walk. But I would say that the happiness of earning money was even more thrilling for all of us and that was kind of a mutual agreement =) ....

As for today, I went over to my bf's house to watch some new vcds that he got and we slept most of the day away =X..... He also worked yesterday and did not sleep the whole night, the poor dear. But the funny thing was that I was more exhausted than him and keep falling asleep instead!! Plus my feet is still aching a little, I keep on yawning the whole day and now I am not sleepy compared to just now...

The school semester is going to end soon and most of us just can hardly wait. Almost the whole class is going overseas when school break starts, and some of us are still staying in Singapore. Thank goodness that this school break is for 1 month (YESSSS,SWEET HOLIDAYS, BRING IT ON!!!) and not a pathetic 7 days this time round. In my view, those stupid 1 week holidays means "time to be happy for a SHORT while, don't get too cosy yet to get your ass back on the double !" after those frigging 7 days are gone. That, would be my idea of a short holiday. But true enough, it is better than No holiday at all =) .

2007-11-21T02:00:00.000-08:00

NE-YO LYRICS
"Because Of You"

[Verse 1:]
Want to, but I can't help it
I love the way it feels,
It’s got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I need it when I want it, I want it when I don’t
Tell myself I'll stop everyday, knowin' that I won't....

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don't know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don't know if I would quit but I doubt it
I'm taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction,I'm so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it's all because of you [3X]
And it's all because…
Never get enough,
She's the sweetest drug

[Verse 2:]
Think of it every second
I can't get nothing done,
Only concern is the next time, I'm gonna get me some
Know I should stay away from, cause it's no good for me
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave...

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction,I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it's all because of you (all because of you) [3X]
And it's all because…
Never get enough,
She's the sweetest drug

Ain't no doubt, so strung out [2X]
Over you, over you, over you

Because of you,
And it's all because of you,
Never get enough
She's the sweetest drug, she's the sweetest drug

```````````````````````````````````````
You have just gotta love this song!One of my all-time favourite songs in history!To me,most of Ne-yo music rocks!

Well, school still bores the crap out of me. All of us are so exhausted from all the mugging for the recent progress tests and sleeping late just doing our stuff...Other than school,there is not much things happening around though.

But for pete's sake, can vacations come along any faster?!?!??!?!?!?! I'm dying here!!!!!!!

2007-11-15T23:40:00.000-08:00

Today was a Super tiring day...And my stupid training restaurant trainer had to ruin it during the last lesson. He had to come in and out of the pantry area with me and the other kitchen workers to "disturb" us in a very peculiar manner. Up to this moment, it still infuriates me and makes me want to put him in a blender and bbrrrrhhhhzzz!!!!! But the most idiotic act that the trainer did was to throw away the rest of the leftover chicken without any hesitation after the customers left.

Can you believe it?What a waste of food when we were suppose to exchange some of our food with the other group!!! Well, I guess it was because he caught me and my other kitchen friend "Light" for eating a measly piece of bread each. What can I say? We were kind of hungry in the kitchen as most people might have been. Still, he need not be so nasty about it when HE came in earlier on to stare at some of us for a long time in a disgusting manner.

What makes me boil is that he still had the gale to ask me whether everything is all right with me at the briefing after the end of the restaurant training. All I did was just stared back at him with a slightly annoyed look in my facial expression. However, he still continued to stare back at me with a "I-am-not-going-to-stop-looking-till-you-smile" expression from his face. Therefore, I gradually "smiled" back at him and said everything was fine so that he will just dismiss us ASAP before we all go back home even later than 7pm (what a pain!!).

2007-11-12T01:20:00.000-08:00

Sometimes in life, one can be SO wrong about certain people around. You thought that they will change for the better when they said they have turn over a new leaf and then what do you get? ANOTHER bitching and lying crap session from them complaining about others, twisting around information like they can fool any Tom, Dick and Harry. Who do they think they are kidding?!? I will say no names, because it will only lead to misunderstandings, confrontations, arguments and gossips. Plus it is just another reason for them to find fault again.

Doesn't just most people LOVE to bitch around and gossip about things because they are so bored and petty?Not only just girls, oh no,but GUYS too?!What is SO frigging fun about fighting, debating, arguing, and bitching?! Sure, it vents out anger but onto other people. And those other people end up suffering because of those poisonous tongues wagging around, saying outrageous things about people. Heartless creatures who pass themselves off as so called "compassionate" mortals...INTOLERABLE AND RIDICULOUS!! Thank goodness for ice-creams, chocolates and other "De-stressing" stuff.

Next time before one should do anything to harm the other party, they should consider this first: Does that other party deserve this kind of treatment from them? How would they like to be treated? And to CONSIDER OTHER PEOPLES' FEELINGS BEFORE THEIRS AND THEIR FREAKING PRIDE!!!!

2007-11-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

School ended in the evening today again...After school,some of us gals and guys went off to westmall to eat our dinners..Most of us were starving,even though we had those small snacks to munch on during school hours!..So much for long school hours,making almost everyone hungry or suffering from over-hungar when school is dismissed...

Then when the rest of the guys and gals headed home after dinner,I went off to my bf's house...We just hang around,talk and watch vcds at his house because it was so late to even go out and we were dead beat after attending school...After that,I went home,washed up and start surfing the internet..Then I landed up in here,typing this post...

One thing that really bugs me sometimes is that do couples Always become so dependable on each other that it is hard to live without them?True enough,they love each other that they can't live without them...But what about relying on their understanding of matters?There are some couples who do not understand each other at times and that fact alone just makes it things tough,because it often leads to serious misunderstandings.

Why am I even saying all these things are from what I see as a problem between certain couples nowadays.However,I can't say that I don't face it myself,because relationships are never just a simple issue or an activity to pass leisure time. The question remains:Does this problem remains minor if this same situation continues time and again to the extend that it seems like a tad for too much that aches so painfully?Even though the problem has been resolved all the time(which is a good thing!), there is a small tich inside you that starts hurt you all over again every time the problem arises continuously.

Sure, most of us say that the solution to this problem is by just talking it all out truthfully and completely will remedy the situation from happening again. Now here is the real bomb: But what if the same situation never did stop arising even though everytime, everything has been said and smoothen out?This is not to create any confusion or that I am contridicting myself,but these happenings Do happen with some relationships around.

2007-11-04T02:38:00.000-08:00

Finally, I have managed to set this thing up right! Well, school has been so hectic and those straining long hours just staying in that stuffy school is driving everyone to insanity. Food and Beverage operations is practically at my wits' end. The struggle of carrying those stupendously ridiculous, Big and heavy dinner plates, soup bowls(just carrying them on the Biiigg tray feels unbalanced!Strange enough) and the 2 kinds of plates(4 dinner plates & 4 side plates) on one arm is unstoppable and all of the other utensils is unstoppable. Oh well, I guess that is part of learning more about the hotel industry and we all just have to suck it up and finish where we have started from.

Anyway,I can hardly wait for that cheque to clear that I have finally managed to waggle out from that horrible "ex-workplace"!!There is so much shopping to do just so to get my mind off school and stuff.In fact,it is a good ''de-stress" activity sometimes.Man, I just have to get another part-time job soon before I get too comfortable just lazing around and my mom will just tighten her grip over me again.Then again, most parents are still so protective over their young adults that it is practically suffocating when they begin to interrogate you constantly.

True enough, they want us to grow up as responsible and good people so that one day we will make good and upright parents with a good welfare. However, they don't cut us some slack whenever it is time for us to let down our hairs and have our fun too!Maybe one day they might get a better picture if they put themselves in our shoes at times.
It is a freezing cold night and the weather is sure great to turn into bed early...But the idea of wanting to sit alone in my solitude is just so strong,because there are just too many happenings going on so quickly that I am totally speechless beyond words to even talk anything at all.

There are some days that it really doesn't pay to get out of the bed at all. Either that or good food like Subway or Macdonales breakfast are making most people tumble out of their beds real fast to feast on. Crap, I better go and buy Subway or Macdonales breakfast soon before I go absolutely nuts just eating the same kinds of food everyday...Chinese and Western-Mac meals. HAIZZS!!!!!!Hahahhaa...Anyway,till the next time when I blog in again!=)